 Before the blinds were lifted
you stepped into the water. You knew where to go, to rest your head, to splay your knees. You knew how to melt and how to moan. With each wave you knew to raise your head to your ancestors, to call for them or pray, to hear them with each rest. Before the blinds were lifted, the flames danced around you. Their light licked the walls, your brown skin, your lover's face. The room smelled of geranium. As your world became smaller, you knew you were somewhere else, inside a growing cell of wisdom and surrender. A tiny piece of heritage and ceremony. Before the blinds were lifted to the bright light of day, you labored in your den. Wild, afraid, un-you. Your passage waiting patiently for your becoming. To the moms who have been here, I see you, I was you, and what you did was beautiful.
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When my daughter was three and my son just over a year, I stumbled upon this episode from the podcast Birth Kweens (a new favorite since I had recently been trained as a birth and postpartum doula). I sat outside my daughter's preschool stunned, enlightened, and tearful for what Jessie Harold had described as the transition into 'Matrescense.' This episode answered questions I didn't even know I had about my own journey into motherhood and explained to me why I was still chasing my old self as well as the consequences if I continued. The way she describes western culture's idea of "self-care" was eye opening. A new mother who is encouraged, even barraged, by her friends and mother in law to get a pedicure the first week of postpartum, because she deserves it and deserves a break from the baby, is not self care. This mother will spend that 90 minutes a nervous wreck to get back home to her nursing baby. (I even tried this myself with a postpartum massage that definitely didn't relax me). Ms. Harrold delves deeper into the grieving process of letting our old self go and determines the true transition into motherhood takes 2-3 years. I couldn't agree more and am happy to share this link to Birth Kweens episode #130 here:
https://www.birthkweens.com/ep-130-the-identify-shift-of-motherhood-with-jessie-harrold-of-mothershift/ Jessie Harrold is the voice of MotherSHIFT, a podcast championing the identity shift we go through as moms and, in my opinion, has made this topic truly academic and inspiring. You can find her podcast here: https://www.jessieharrold.com/introducing-the-mothershift-podcast/ |
AuthorHi and welcome to my blog! My name is Ashley Murphy. I am a full spectrum doula, a wife, writer, artist and mother of two little ones living in Cambria, CA. I wanted to create this blog to connect with the birth work community as well as families seeking birth support here in San Luis Obispo County. I'm hoping to share valuable and stimulating information on everything from prenatal health and advocacy, to natural birth, history, and tradition, to local resources and interesting finds to my own personal journey into "Matrescense." Archives
October 2021
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